Worse or better?

[cleflink]

*deep breath* Right, so I've now officially told my supervisor, the Graduate counselor and the future head of the department that I'm not going to try and get into a PhD program next year. I've been dithering about this for... months now, good god, so I'm glad I've finally made a decision. I even think it's the right decision too, though I still kinda feel like I'm wimping out. *sheepish* I'm sure I'll feel better about it soon?

And in slightly better more interesting topics, I may just possibly have written something for the newest issue of Shousetsu Bang Bang - an online original yaoi fiction journal. I'm mostly happy with it? Another few days to edit would probably have helped (school!), but considering it's the first complete piece of original fiction I've done in a long time, it's a pretty good start.

Comments

[cypher]

Wuff, yeah, that's never an easy call to make. I broke down crying when I told my would-have-been dissertation chair that I was going to just take a master's and leave the program. But I do think it's the right call -- if you're not really driven to get the PhD, then trying to force yourself through the work anyway is just misery-inducing. I hope you feel better soon. :3

[cleflink]

Y-yeah, I managed to avoid crying (or vomiting) on any of my professors, though when I mentioned it to one of my fellow students I then spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom convincing myself not to cry. :( I know intellectually that it's most important to consider what's best for me - and a PhD is not it right now - but I'm still wrestling with the whole 'I'm letting people down' and 'I'm such a failure' stuff that's been depressing me since the summer. orz Maybe if I had any idea of what to do instead it would help, but I'm trying to take this one day at a time for now.

*hugs*