![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Negotiations
Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Word count: 680
A/N: Day 5 of my August fic challenge. A To the Stars and Back timestamp for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dugindeep who requested Jared getting himself in trouble and Jensen playing the eye-rolling rescuer. Also, I may have been reading too much Star Trek fanfic recently.
Also available on AO3.
Summary: Jensen has really got to stop letting Jared go out in public without supervision.
Sometimes, Jensen couldn't help but think that CE5 had made a massive tactical error when it inflicted Jared on the rest of the galaxy.
"You did what?" he demanded.
"In my defense, it could have happened to anyone," Jared said. He didn't sound nearly repentant or worried enough for Jensen's liking.
Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was gone for three hours."
Jared offered him a sheepish shrug. "Oops?"
"This is not an 'oops', you idiot! 'Oops' is locking your keys in your car. 'Oops' is not getting married to the Krylan ambassador!"
"Technically, I'm only engaged," Jared said, and Jensen glared at him.
"That is not better."
"Come on, Jensen, this isn't my fault."
"Well, it sure as hell isn't mine!" Jensen took a deep, steadying breath. "I don't suppose you told them that you're already married?"
"I did, actually. But it appears as though Krylani are both accepting and flexible about romantic shortcomings." Because he was a colossal moron, Jared was grinning as he added, "I think you might be offered my weight in silver to surrender your claim, though."
"There is a collar around your neck," Jensen said, with a pointed glance at the offending strip of metal. "There isn't going to be much of an 'offer' in this transaction."
Jared waved a careless hand. "You know more galactic law than anyone in the solar system. I'm sure you can figure out a way to tell her thanks but no thanks."
"Oh yes," Jensen snapped, clinging onto his self-control by the barest of margins. "Let's talk about galactic law. Like the fact that Krylan marriages can only be annulled by the death of one of the members. Or that a battle to the death is the only way to renege on a marriage proposal in Krylan culture. Are those the galactic laws you're talking about?"
The colour drained from Jared's face. It didn't make Jensen feel better. "I - you, what? You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."
Jensen gave him a flat look. "Do I look like I'm joking?"
"Shit." Jared ran a hand through his hair, a blatant tell that only came out when he was genuinely rattled. "But you can get me unengaged, right?"
"By killing the Krylan ambassador in single combat? Are you fucking high?"
Jared's eyes went wide and pleading. "But you've got to help me! I don't want to marry someone who's blue!"
"Racist," Jensen said automatically. "And, for your sake, that'd better not be your actual concern here."
"I love you," Jared said promptly, so at least he wasn't a complete idiot.
"Whereas I'm suddenly remembering all the times I've wished someone would be dumb enough to take you off my hands."
Jared pouted. "Now you're just being a dick."
"I think I'm entitled," Jensen shot back. "Jesus fuck, you got engaged."
"Hey." Jared's hand settled on Jensen's shoulder, warm and familiar. "You do know it wasn't my idea, right? She had this collar around my neck before I'd finished figuring out what 'akhroya' meant. You're the only one I want. The only one I've ever wanted."
"I know," Jensen said. It came out more gruffly than he'd intended it to, and Jared smiled fondly.
"I really do love you, you know."
"You're repeating yourself," Jensen said.
"I'll repeat it as many times as I need to," Jared said firmly. "Now, are you going to defend my virtue and keep me from being married against my will or do I have to learn to find blue aliens sexy?"
Jensen growled and grabbed Jared's face to pull him in for a fierce, possessive kiss. "Of course I'm going to fix this," he said against Jared's lips. "You're my husband. No one else's."
"My hero," Jared said, with a beaming grin. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You'd better," Jensen grumbled. He stole another quick kiss before pivoting on his heel and marching towards the Krylan embassy.
Time to go get his husband unengaged. Preferably without starting an interplanetary incident in the process.
Not unless he had to, anyway.
~fin
Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Word count: 680
A/N: Day 5 of my August fic challenge. A To the Stars and Back timestamp for
dugindeep who requested Jared getting himself in trouble and Jensen playing the eye-rolling rescuer. Also, I may have been reading too much Star Trek fanfic recently.Also available on AO3.
Summary: Jensen has really got to stop letting Jared go out in public without supervision.
Sometimes, Jensen couldn't help but think that CE5 had made a massive tactical error when it inflicted Jared on the rest of the galaxy.
"You did what?" he demanded.
"In my defense, it could have happened to anyone," Jared said. He didn't sound nearly repentant or worried enough for Jensen's liking.
Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was gone for three hours."
Jared offered him a sheepish shrug. "Oops?"
"This is not an 'oops', you idiot! 'Oops' is locking your keys in your car. 'Oops' is not getting married to the Krylan ambassador!"
"Technically, I'm only engaged," Jared said, and Jensen glared at him.
"That is not better."
"Come on, Jensen, this isn't my fault."
"Well, it sure as hell isn't mine!" Jensen took a deep, steadying breath. "I don't suppose you told them that you're already married?"
"I did, actually. But it appears as though Krylani are both accepting and flexible about romantic shortcomings." Because he was a colossal moron, Jared was grinning as he added, "I think you might be offered my weight in silver to surrender your claim, though."
"There is a collar around your neck," Jensen said, with a pointed glance at the offending strip of metal. "There isn't going to be much of an 'offer' in this transaction."
Jared waved a careless hand. "You know more galactic law than anyone in the solar system. I'm sure you can figure out a way to tell her thanks but no thanks."
"Oh yes," Jensen snapped, clinging onto his self-control by the barest of margins. "Let's talk about galactic law. Like the fact that Krylan marriages can only be annulled by the death of one of the members. Or that a battle to the death is the only way to renege on a marriage proposal in Krylan culture. Are those the galactic laws you're talking about?"
The colour drained from Jared's face. It didn't make Jensen feel better. "I - you, what? You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."
Jensen gave him a flat look. "Do I look like I'm joking?"
"Shit." Jared ran a hand through his hair, a blatant tell that only came out when he was genuinely rattled. "But you can get me unengaged, right?"
"By killing the Krylan ambassador in single combat? Are you fucking high?"
Jared's eyes went wide and pleading. "But you've got to help me! I don't want to marry someone who's blue!"
"Racist," Jensen said automatically. "And, for your sake, that'd better not be your actual concern here."
"I love you," Jared said promptly, so at least he wasn't a complete idiot.
"Whereas I'm suddenly remembering all the times I've wished someone would be dumb enough to take you off my hands."
Jared pouted. "Now you're just being a dick."
"I think I'm entitled," Jensen shot back. "Jesus fuck, you got engaged."
"Hey." Jared's hand settled on Jensen's shoulder, warm and familiar. "You do know it wasn't my idea, right? She had this collar around my neck before I'd finished figuring out what 'akhroya' meant. You're the only one I want. The only one I've ever wanted."
"I know," Jensen said. It came out more gruffly than he'd intended it to, and Jared smiled fondly.
"I really do love you, you know."
"You're repeating yourself," Jensen said.
"I'll repeat it as many times as I need to," Jared said firmly. "Now, are you going to defend my virtue and keep me from being married against my will or do I have to learn to find blue aliens sexy?"
Jensen growled and grabbed Jared's face to pull him in for a fierce, possessive kiss. "Of course I'm going to fix this," he said against Jared's lips. "You're my husband. No one else's."
"My hero," Jared said, with a beaming grin. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You'd better," Jensen grumbled. He stole another quick kiss before pivoting on his heel and marching towards the Krylan embassy.
Time to go get his husband unengaged. Preferably without starting an interplanetary incident in the process.
Not unless he had to, anyway.
~fin
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Jensen says that he has every right to be pissy in this situation. Also, the galaxy should have learned by now not to fuck around with Jensen's husband unless it wants a seriously unhappy Jensen on its hands.
I am glad you loves it, as I loves you. :)
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no subject
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Jensen wishes that he could say that this is the dumbest thing Jared's ever done. He really, really does.
I'm glad you enjoyed! Thanks!
From:
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I am glad you thought so! By contrast, Jared must admit that this situation is not so funny now as he thought it would be. Oops.
Thanks, hon! :D
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It is one of his special skills. Which is really, profoundly unhelpful in pretty much every situation.
Thanks, hon! I'm glad you enjoyed!
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I hope you had a good week.
From:
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Jensen honestly wonders how Jared survived as a secret agent before Jensen came along to bail him out of trouble. It is one of life's great mysteries.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!
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Ahaha, well, Jensen's never the one you need to worry about; there's a reason he's such a valuable agent (and it's not just his winning smile). Jared's problem is that, as long as he survives, he considers everything a grand adventure and well worth the trouble. Jensen disagrees vehemently.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!
From:
no subject
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Jensen says that at least someone's getting some amusement out of this. Because it's not him and it sure as hell won't be Jared once Jensen finishes with him. :)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!
From:
no subject
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It's one of the joys of having so much footage of these two idiots at cons and etc.: they offer up so much of their personalities for us to glee over. And then translate into stories about interplanetary secret agents. As you do.
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed!
From:
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Where have your J2 fics been all my life? I had to go back and read the original fic and then read the timestamp. These boys are just to damn cute.
From:
no subject
Hiding in plain sight? Or else lurking in the bowels of LJ. Both are pretty viable options (especially when the story in question is about spies, I think).
I'm very glad you enjoyed! Thank you!